whatsinaname

To my first music teacher......... You filled many a evenings with music and laughter and our small house in Vizag opened up a whole new world for me. I was only 8 or 9, and many a season has passed since then. Your 'tima' (thats what you called me) is a big girl now. But your 'Coffee houser shei adda' still rings in my ears. You are no more. But the music in me tells me you are around. I never got a chance to tell you then but Topon kaku I love you and I miss you........... To Bhai (My thakurda) Are you looking at me right now trying to read what I am writing, counting my spelling mistakes as you used to once. Hopefully that has improved though I could'nt do much about my bad handwriting Bhai. I know you thought I would'nt ever pass with it but I did! No one calls me Shonai anymore. No one brings packets of 'Little Hearts' for me. But that has not stopped me from waking you up in the middle of the night, complaining or crying about my life. That has not...

(I had written this poem for a friend on the 24th of May, 2008. However I couldnt come up with a title which deems fit for the poem. Any suggestion therefore is most welcome) Smiles, hills, a playground, friends, And then you fade away……………… A blue mist engulfs the years in between…….. As it clears, the morning shines And the bright lights blind my eyes, Dewdrops of the remnant smiles are sprinkled all around Amidst the gift-wrapped sunrays, its you my friend I found………

(must have written this a few years back) I see not a night dark, not a hair dark, not a black dark, not a coal dark.... all i see is the dark-nothing. My hands grapple for support, for help, for light, My hands filled with blood I cant see it- its dark-nothing, I scream and cry, blood, sweat, heat engulfs me... and then I see again, I breathe again, I stand again, I walk again. There is light, crazy light and I want to burn in the light. The light- my soul, not night soul, not evil soul, not dark soul. My soul-light... and in the light I see my body evaporating into the clear sky. I wake up- it was a dream. Yet far ahead in the darkness do I still see light? Light-my soul?

Far far away distanced by the unbidden oceans and endless seas, reaching out but not quite, cumbersome impossibilities... Yet amidst a crowd, when the solitude princess whispers in my ear,  the glistening remnants in my eyes reassure that you are near..